California, Here I Quack

NOT has always prided himself in being able to stand out on his own. Even though he is a duck of limited intelligence, he is an individualist. Which is why, when he found himself in the middle of a crowd of ducks, he started to freak.

No mind that this is the Eighth Annual Rubber Ducky Derby in Concord, California, hosted by their mascot, Mr. Waddles. NOT was still disconcerted and lost.

NOT's whole identity was being called into question - who was he? He spent time just sitting on the beach, staring out at the Pacific Ocean along Route 1 (He'd seen the hero do it in a movie once.)

But nothing comforted him in the waves. Instead, they rose to threaten to carry this duck away on the tide.

NOT felt more alone in the world. He turned to nature for answers. After all, he was a duck, and knew nature (or so he thought). But nature was quiet to NOT - refusing to help him. In fact, looking at the petrified wood and realizing how much younger he is than that tree, made NOT felt even more small and stuffed.

And the Pinnacles National Monument didn't tell him much of anything. Thanks a lot Nature! Phooey!

By this point, NOT was feeling a bit peckish, as well as lost. At least there should be lots of grapes in the Napa Valley he thought. He didn't think that the growers would begrudge him a few bunches. But all they did when he tried to steal some grapes was to whine at him.

But then he remembered the film Citizen Kane and how Orson Welles built a beautiful mansion to house himself when he was feeling lost - so maybe a clue lay at the home of Well's inspiration - William Randolph Hearst and Hearst's castle at San Simeon. 

In fact, the mansion did not help. As he sadly left the grounds, despairing that he'll never find direction, divine guidance came along in the form of a truck.

"That's It - I need to get to LA where people are genuine and helpful - there is my life's purpose!  Or maybe just Bimbos."

So he set off to follow the rolling bimbo to his destiny.

Photos (and some puns) courtesy of David Backman

Prepared Fall 1999.  Last updated June 2006