Mr. Duck Goes to Washington

Despite being given admonishments that sausage and laws are two things you are best off not knowing how they are made, NOT decided he had to visit the nation's capital to see what is happening there. But he also knew that this was a city of crime and danger, so he kept an eye out for police to help protect a duck of little stature. Little did he know that D.C. also has a duck ordinance, and soon he found himself under citation by the very same officers he had been looking for.

As if the ticket was not enough, he was almost put away in jail. Luckily it was only the replica of the jail cell that Martin Luther King was in in Montgomery, but the idea was enough to have NOT chanting "Attica, Attica!" in his best Al Pacino quack before very long.

[The real jail cell and door is in the Civil Rights Museum in Birmingham, Alabama.  NOT has sat on that one also, but the museum does not like photographs.]

After being freed, he sought the advice of the great emancipator himself, Abraham Lincoln. Not knowing where to find him, the duck went to the highest point around to try and search him out. But the monument was soooooo far down the mall. Guess he really did wish he perfected duck flying right now.

He made it, only to find Mr. Lincoln a whole lot less talkative and helpful as he had hoped. So he set out in search of other minds to help him out.

Wandering around D.C. he came upon one of the greatest thinkers of our time: Albert Einstein. But alas, old Al was not sharing any secrets of the universe with the Duck of limited stature. Is everyone in this city stoned like the mayor was?

A final search for justice took him to the Supreme Court building, but alas Ruth, Clarence, Sandra and the gang were not around to provide answers.

In frustration, he went to seek out the one person in D.C. who would provide straight answers to him: Sesame Street's Oscar the Grouch. His sage words of wisdom about D.C. for the duck?

"It's all garbage. And I love it that way!"

While in the city though, it was vital for a visit to the Air and Space Museum. (He is, after all, a flying animal). There were planes with Mickey Mouse on them and such but not small ducks. He was disappointed.

For such a city as D.C. - the duck noticed that it is all overseen by a large phallic symbol. No wonder congress has so much testosterone.

As the sun sets in the west, the duck looks for a little assistance to get home. Finding a trusty cannon, he prepares for departure.

Photos courtesy of David Backman

Last Updated January 1998